this is where we are.......

Thought #1
So I haven't written anything in a long time. And I just feel like letting it flow tonight. I've spent the last hour just flipping through peoples blogs on here and it's really interesting what people will tell the whole world. And I don't mean that in a bad way at all. I think it gives us as humans a way to air our grievances or hurts or emotions. Which is actually very therapeutic if you think about it?

Thought #2
So If you know me at all you know this year has been one HECK of a year. Probably one of the worst for me actually. One of my best friends told me I should write a country western song...it was that bad. LOL!!
2009 started off with the guy I was dating breaking up with me. Move past that about 2 weeks and the heat in my car dies. (note: it had been dying but now it was GONE) Move on another 2 weeks and BAM I get rear ended by someone 2 blocks away from my apartment. Fast forward about 4 weeks and one of the more pivotal moments of my life happened. Out of the blue I was called into an office at work and laid off. This was a complete shock to me. We all knew the economy wasn't doing well, but we were assured we would be fine.

So there I went walking out the door with nothing. Literally.
Even when we have nothing we still have God right? I keep telling myself things like this. For the last week or so I've been listening to God is in Control by Steven Curtis Chapman. It's been pretty therapeutic for me. (many a tears shed)
It starts of by saying:

This is not how it should be

This is not how it could be

This is how it is

And God is in Control

And goes on to Say Holy, Holy, Holy is our God

And we finally really understand what it means

So we'll sing Holy, Holy, Holy is our God

While we are waiting for that day

That's where I'm at. Trying to understand what all this really means. I know bad things happen and we have to get through them. And this is something I have to get through. And when I do I know I'll be stronger for it. I'm just wanting answers from God on Why? What are you trying to teach me?

Then I hear the part that says:

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
This is where we are
Our God is in Control
Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see our God is in Control.

This certainly is not where I planned to be in life right now. I'm on the 10th month of being unemployed. I thought I'd have a job within months of being let go or at least by the end of summer. The holidays have come and gone and we are in a new year. And still nothing. It blows me away. I try not to lose hope that the phone will ring one day for another interview, but it never does at least not yet. So I'm thinking this is the bitter part of life right now. This season of life, this year..it's been bitter.

And one day again I'll have the sweetness. But for right now...ice cream is about the closest I'll get to sweetness. It'll have to do.